Team Ranger
by mapplepie
Summary: "Team Kakashi? Why are we always Team Kakashi?" Naruto's tired of having the team named after his sensei and wants a change! Kakashi really couldn't care less, and no one bothers to listen to Sasuke anymore. As for the enemy-nin caught up in all this... well, he always knew Konoha-nin were crazy.


_Anyone remember Power Rangers? That was a hilarious show… All those dramatic entries and fireworks in the background, and those poses… or am I thinking about Saiyaman now…_

_**Summary**: _"Team Kakashi?" Naruto whined, "Why are we always Team Kakashi?" Naruto's tired of having the team named after his sensei, and wants a change. Kakashi really couldn't care less, and no one seems to ever listen to Sasuke. As for the enemy nin caught up in all of this... well, he always knew Konoha-nin were crazy.

_...Ahh, I have to stop writing crack... I think I'm killing the characters... but I can't help it!_

* * *

><p>"Naruto, Sasuke," Kakashi greeted as soon as he saw the two boys standing by the gates waiting for him. They nodded at the jounin, clearly bored of the mission already. "Alright, Team Kakashi, let's move out," Kakashi said, taking lead, strolling out of the village. Not a second later, there was soft shuffling behind him as one of his boys dragged his feet annoyingly. "Maa, anything the matter, Naruto?"<p>

The boy jutted his lip out into a pout as Kakashi glanced over. "Do we have to?" he asked, walking slowly beside Sasuke.

The Jounin raised an eyebrow at his words, "Have to what? Do the mission?" _Since when did Naruto turn down missions?_

"No!" the blond-haired container corrected with a wail, "Do we have to be called 'Team Kakashi'?" he cried. "What have you ever done for us?"

The silver-haired man groaned exasperatedly. _Of course this would happen..._ "Let's see now, I'm a Jounin, your teacher, and team leader. Anything else?"

"But I don't want to be called Team Kakashi!" Naurto whined.

"We've _always_ been Team Kakashi," Kakashi pointed out.

Naruto nodded, "Precisely. So it's time for a change," he said, as if that was an obvious reason for one.

Kakashi rolled his eye but gave the comment a thoughtful consideration. He eyed the blond cautiously for a moment, "So what do you have in mind, then?" he asked, hoping he wouldn't regret the decision.

In response, Naruto gave a large, pearly grin, all pouting immediately forgotten. "I thought you would never ask…"

And beside him, Sasuke groaned into his hands.

**-x-x-x-**

"Target sighted," Sasuke signalled, spotting the enemy nin in the forest. His teammates nodded in response, speeding up towards him. They hopped along the branches of leaves, weaving through leaves.

Sasuke quickly reached for his kunais, holding them ready to be thrown.

"Don't!" Naruto interrupted, "That's not what we planned!" he cried, trying to stop the Uchiha from capturing the enemy already.

"Does it really matter, Dobe?"

Clear blue eyes glared at him, "Of course it does," Naruto snapped. The boy hopped down in front of the Uchiha, hands on hips.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Look, this is a simple mission. It probably won't even take more than ten minutes to subdue the man. Can we just get this over with?" he sighed in annoyance.

The blond demon container frowned at him. "Don't get mad at _me. _It's not my fault Kakashi's making us do simple C-ranks."

"You're both _still _Genins," Their silver-haired sensei replied from somewhere overhead.

"Because the next Chunin exams are like _months_ away."

"Have patience."

"And Sakura's not even here!" Naruto continued, ignoring him.

"She's a Chunin."

"And our team name sucks."

"I let you change it, remember?"

Naruto glared at the man, "Look, can you just let me complain?"

"We have a mission to do," Kakashi droned in a bored voice.

Naruto nodded with him, "Yeah, I know! But Sasuke won't cooperate! What was the point of changing the team name if he doesn't cooperate?"

"Then don't change it!" Sasuke snapped.

"What, you _want _to be called 'Team Kakashi'?"

The raven-haired boy threw his hands in the air, "Does it really matter? Why can't you just let me get this stupid mission over with already? I have better things to do."

"Shut up!" Naruto cried, "It so _does_ matter." He turned to Kakashi, "Sensei!" he whined, "you said I could change it, but Sasuke's not listening! We can't finish the mission because of him!"

There was a groan and a sigh before the silver-haired jounin waved his hand dismissively at him. "Yeah, yeah," he murmured, "Sasuke, just listen to Naruto and hopefully this won't take all day."

The blond cheered, grin splitting his face as he heard his teacher take his side. "Com'on, show time!" he sang. With only a slight hesitation, the three of them eventually descended in front of their target. "Just like how we practiced!" Naruto cheered.

Naruto landed first, striking a pose. "Like the burning sun, with the fiery strength of the pillar of support, it is I, Yellow Ranger, Naruto Uzumaki," he cheered.

Kakashi leaped beside the blond, one hand held up to the sky lazily as his pose. His face never twitched as he stared with a half-closed eye. "All-seeing, all-knowing; the epitome of romance. The great, the handsome, Silver Ranger, Kakashi Hatake," the man said dully.

"Epitome of romance, my ass," Sasuke muttered under his breath, strolling beside the two.

"Sasuke, your turn," Naruto hissed over.

The raven-haired Uchiha rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah." He paused in thought, crossing his arms. "Um… I'm the strongest. Black Ranger, Sasuke Uchiha."

"No-o!" The demon-container cried. "That sucks! If you can't come up with good ones like Kakashi-sensei, then just stick with your scripted intro!" he wailed at the other boy.

"You call that good?"

"Sensei!" The the sunshine blond whined.

"Kakashi, make him stop!" Sasuke countered, trying to get the teacher on his side. But the older man just stared idly at the sky without a care in the world. "Fine," The Uchiha hissed, "With an imperturbable will and courage, fighting for all this is right. Black Ranger, Sasuke Uchiha," he recited in a monotonous voice.

Naruto leaped in front of the two of them. "And together, we are Team Ranger, protecting the world from _evil_!" he cheered, pointing his arm towards the sky in triumph. Kakashi blew a _Katon_ behind him for dramatic effect.

Sasuke snorted in annoyance.

Naruto ignored the Uchiha's irritated glare, and turned towards their target who was blinking furiously at them. "Hey, you liked it, right?"

The enemy nin stared at the three. What were they, stupid?

Naruto jumped happily, "See, he likes it!" he crooned. "Next we'll get costumes, and it'll be _perfect!_"

Something in the Uchiha cracked. "No he doesn't like it!" the raven-haired Uchiha yelled furiously, "He thinks we're idiots now because of that. And no costumes!"

Kakashi sighed, "Now, now kids, let's not fight about this," he chided half-heartedly.

"Ha! Kakashi-sensei likes it too!"

"No he doesn't," Sasuke snapped.

"Yeah he does; why else did he agree with it in the first place?"

"Because otherwise we would've had to spend all day with you whining about it over and over again," the last Uchiha droned.

The blond pouted, "That's not true! Kakashi-sensei, tell him it's not true!"

"But it is," the Jounin deadpanned.

"I told you it was stupid, but no one around here listens to me anymore," the Uchiha grumbled under his breath. "It's not like I didn't come back after defecting or anything.

"Hey, just who was it who dragged your sorry-ass back?" Naruto snapped, "Huh? Huh?"

"At least I came back!" Sasuke retorted, "Besides, I almost felt like leaving again when you tried to force the name 'Team Reject' on us."

Naruto couldn't hold back his whine. "But it fits!"

"I'm not going to give people permission to call me a reject for the rest of my life."

"But just think about it!" Naruto waved his hands over his head, and hopped towards the enemy nin, standing nervously in front of them, "I am Naruto," he boomed, "Hated by villagers since birth, but a never bending will persevered all."

He jumped towards his left, and spoke in a lower octave, possibly trying to mimic Sasuke's voice. "Love by many once ago, but defected for the enemy, and then defected back, I am Sasuke!"

Again, the blond leapt towards the side, this time towards the far right, "And last but not least, I am Kakashi!" he cried, changing his voice once more, "No one likes me 'cause I read porn all day!"

He jumped back to the center, "And together, we are the rejects of Konoha, Team Reject!" The blond demon container grinned happily at them, "So? So?"

The enemy nin blink, mind far too blank for him to even try to attempt to say anything intelligent back at the boy. Kakashi almost felt sorry for the man.

"We don't need to introduce ourselves to the enemy!" Sasuke snapped, "Or give them our life's story."

The blond shrugged, "And that's why I proposed 'Team Orphans' next!" Naruto defended. "Then no one needs to ask why we're named that, 'cause it's obvious." He turned towards their target shinobi, "But hearing us say, 'We are Team Orphans' sounds so boring, right?"

The enemy nin looked flustered. "Yes…?" he agreed reluctantly.

"I know, right?" Naruto nodded, "You have a good taste in things! So I decided to go with Team Ranger next. Good choice, right?"

The guy shrugged helplessly, trying to find a way away from the Konoha-nins without being noticed.

Sasuke glared, his pinwheel eyes threatening to come out. "Look, Dobe, it really doesn't matter! Besides, why can't you ask for _my_ opinion instead of random enemy ninjas!" he retorted in annoyance. "_I_ could've told you it sucked. Heck, I _did_ tell you it sucked, and you were all like, 'what do you know?'."

"Obviously nothing!" the blond bit back, "I mean, come one, he even _looks_ cooler than you!"

"Excuse me?"

"What's with those clothes of yours? At least _he_ dresses properly. I don't want to look at your chest hair all day, Sasuke." Sasuke discretely tried to tie his purple obi tighter. The demon container turned to the enemy nin, "You agree with me, right?"

The man's eyes flickered nervously, "Y-yeah?"

The Uchiha gave a snort, "Oh, sure, take his side just because you know it's easy to fool him. Have fun trying to convert him to your side with your lies."

"I don't really care ei-"

Naruto glared, "You were lying to me then?" he cried, cutting the unknown shinobi off, "All that time?"

"What?"

"If you didn't care, that means you were lying when you told me 'yes' both times!" Naruto cried. "And I trusted you so much!" Chakra swirled around Naruto in anger. And of course, being the powerhouse he was, that was a _lot_ of chakra.

"It's not like I _didn't_ like it…" the enemy nin placated, sweating bullets at the sheer power the blond boy emitted. His eyes nervous, more frantically than ever, tried to find an escape route.

"Ha, see, he _is_ trying to trick you into liking him more so we let him go," Sasuke snapped, "We'd better kill him before he succeeds."

The shinobi in front of them gulped nervously, "I mean, I honestly really like it. You know, just my personal opinion, no hidden agenda behind, it or anything," he assured.

"Ha! I knew it!" Naruto cheered, leering at his childhood-rival.

"Oh," said rival snarled, "I guess there's something wrong with you too?" he glared down the enemy nin, "Only idiots would like something that stupid, and I think we have enough idiots in this world." Not-so-hidden weapons glistened under the sun as Sasuke advanced towards the man.

"W-well, yo-you know, I really didn't like it _that_ much, now that I think about it," the man rushed out.

Sasuke stopped, turning back to Naruto. His onyx black eyes flashed with victory.

The blond demon-container let out a growl, "So you _are_ a liar, then!" Chakra crackled some more, as it was his turned to stare down the enemy.

"Well, actually I _did_ –" the ninja started.

"So you _did _like it?" Sasuke threatened.

"Well, no –"

Naruto let out a scream in frustration, "Why are you agreeing with whatever Sasuke-bastard says? What are you, a Sasuke fan-boy? Like we don't have enough of those annoying squealing girls! Just admit you liked it!" the blond snapped.

"He did not," the Uchiha countered, "So stop forcing him to say he did."

"I'm not forcing him!"

Sasuke ignored his teammate, turning towards the enemy nin, "Well?" he drawled.

"Um…" The enemy shinobi surveyed his routes. On one side was a super chakra-powerful ninja he couldn't predict, and on the other was a super crazy, evil Uchiha who seemed to want to kill him either way.

"Well?" Naruto copied.

"Er-" said random enemy ninja couldn't take it anymore. He shuffled backwards and ran for it. – _or tried to, at least._

"Where do you think you're going?" Kakashi, the almost forgotten third member of the team, asked cheerfully.

The enemy ninja, caught by the scruff of his neck, gave out a long sigh, "Fine!" He threw up his hands into the air, "Take me! Just leave me out of those two's problems!" He didn't even bother to struggle out of Kakashi's grip.

"Hmm?"

"Leave me alone!" he begged, "I'm come with you quietly if you tell them to leave me alone! I won't even try to escape! I mean, all you guys wanted to do in the first place was capture me, right? Capture me quietly? No bickering? No killing?"

"Maa…" Kakashi tapped his chin thoughtfully, "I suppose so…" the man drawled out.

"Please!"

Kakashi gave a lazy smile. "Well, alright. Come with me." He knocked out the man, tying him up and slinging him across his shoulders. He was on the trees and heading back towards Konoha not a second later.

Naruto's voice called him back. "Wait, Sensei! We're not done yet!"

"Now, now, Naruto, you've done plenty," Kakashi dismissed, still hopping off.

"But…"

"We're heading back," the Jounin said. He quickened his pace when he felt his two boys follow after him. They were still grumbling, but following nevertheless.

The silver-haired man smiled behind his mask. Mission accomplished and he didn't even need to lift a finger. He knew Naruto was good for something, especially when placed with Sasuke.

Ahh, missions were so easy,and he even got fresh entertainment. Who knew C-ranks could be so much fun?


End file.
